Of Mishaps and God's Goodness

So...

We had a really wonderful time at our Eidse Festival in southern Alberta. It was relaxing, inspiring, exciting, delicious. It was poignant, memorable, delightful, humorous. I honestly haven't laughed so long and hard for a while. It was just good. I love me my family!

And then we got home.

And two days later Zach had a rendezvous with the go-cart, a very scary episode. He ended up being in the hospital from Tuesday night until Sunday morning; a broken foot, seven stitches in his knee and surgery on his back Saturday night to stitch up the wound.

Now he needs to be off his foot for 6-8 weeks. He can't do anything with his back for two weeks, like not bend over to tie his shoes or pull on his jeans. And then no sports, go-carting, jumping on the tramp, etc. for another six weeks.

It's been... hard, crazy, tiring.

I never dreamed I'd be able to nap in the hospital on a flimsy little cot in the middle of the afternoon. I've never thought about watching my child go in to surgery or wheel-chair hospital halls or get stitches in his knee. I don't want to think about it. But I still see him under the go-cart, jumping up and running across the driveway only to fall on his stomach. I see the open wound on his back, his shredded clothes and the look on Pat's face as he scoops him up and carries him inside.

We are so blessed. We have life, we have clothes to wash, dishes to do, shoes to buy. We have everything we could ever wish for. And more.

I'm so very grateful for my dear sister and all her help and support, my dear husband and his constant vigil (he did all the nights at the hospital), for my mom-in-law and her free bed and breakfast and babysitting service, my friend Jodi and her instant help (driving me in to the hospital) and late night pizza and Tim's drinks, etc. I'm so so thankful for the people that took the time to come in and show they cared. Today my friend Ruby came for coffee and ended up vacuuming my whole house and cleaning up. I'm so very grateful....

And so I cry.

For what could have been. For what I have. For the dear church and people around us. For the teachers, the students, the network of love around us...

It’s Like This

So many things to do in so little time: the story of our lives. J

We’re leaving tomorrow for southern Alberta where we plan to meet my Eidse cousins and aunties and uncles and Grandma; my mom and siblings, too. We’ve been planning this grandé festival for a long time and I’m so very excited!

In the next three weeks we hope and plan to attend said festival, partake of and attend year-end program and play day (including youth activities such as the annual concession booth, cleaning mice outta the youth shed and the annual rib supper), attend youth singspiration in Swan River (5.5 hours away and how many evenings of practicing songs and planning) and send Pat’s folks off with pomp and show to the Edmonton girls unit for two months (which also includes a bit of sewing).

In the last week I’ve finished five dresses, one slip, one quilt, one bag and two books, with the emphasis on the books. I absolutely loved The Spy Wore Red, Love Without Limits was so-so and I just plum couldn’t get past a couple chapters of Once Upon A Prince.

We’ve dined on food more basic than most of you can imagine, left the floors until the grit about trips us and done home-work and studied for exams until the mother’s eyes are crossed and her brain in fudge. Yes, the mother. How does the child feel? I don’t know. It’s been a stretch. And I’m not going to bother telling you the whole story to a) protect my child, b) save your brain (and heart) and c) save mine. Also, my garden is an epic fail; a mole, late frost and no rain (ahem, apparently I haven’t heard about sprinklers). My ash trees had just leafed out and we got a heavy frost, so they’re starting again and thankfully are alive.

K. I’m off to collect blankets and sheets, towels and washcloths, playpen and gaunch.

I’m sorry. J

Have a wonderful day!

Friday Thoughts

It's another beautiful spring day in central Saskatchewan, where the wind blows strong, the birds start singing at four in the morning when the sun comes up and the tractors and seeders are on the fields almost around the clock. It's a gorgeous time of year. The apples, chokecherries and lilacs are blooming, casting their pungent perfumes to the winds. The rhubarb plants are hearty mounds of huge leaves with hidden fruit and the gardens have little onion tips peeking through the sandy soil.

I have a small metal tub with rope-covered handles sitting on my deck. It has a dark pink tea rose in full bloom, small white flowers around the bottom and a solar light that glows softly in the gathering dusk. It's from my heart sister, bless her. It has brought me such joy already.

This morning Pat and I sat with cups of strong brewed coffee and mouths full of cracked black pepper and olive oil Triscuits, cheese and baby dills, watching the sun play across the finished entrance, enjoying the beauty of a lovely spring morning. Just to pause in the rush-rush the season brings is gratifying, blessed. We have so much to be grateful for!

I have moments of panic over balls thrown in the house, overwhelmed feelings about busing on time and food for public occasions and no answers about finishing homework, talking back and getting up on time. As a mom, I'm pulled taut, I'm fulfilled, I'm complete. The only saving grace in my life is God's and possibly never so clear cut. It's amazing.

I had a moment of clarity on Tuesday. Pat's mom and I went to the Berry Barn for lunch, just the two of us, for Mother's Day. We were sitting there at a little table overlooking the river, eating our mushroom soup in bread bowls and drinking coffee. The breezes lifted the heat every once in a while and the voices and clinks of dishes around us made it feel surreal. In the blink of an eye it's going to be me and my daughter-in-law.

The passing of time always brings a bitter-sweet feeling. I stand with heart and hands out in the breeze, like Abbie in A Lantern In Her Hand, thinking Oh, stop time! Stop! And I know that today is the only day to live.Today is my gift. Today is the best thing that has ever happened because it brings us one step closer to Him. I feel everything so deeply, unfortunately the bad as well as good, and I cry for little babies grown up, for children missing their Grandpa's presence, for the pain the world around. (I cry about silly things like white hair and mice in the house too.)

Yesterday my mom-in-law came and helped me wash all my windows on main floor, no small feat whatsoever! She's amazing! She can run circles around me! I told her I'd sew for her in exchange, in hopes of paying back, at least in part, this debt. Clean windows and clean floors? Nothing beats it, my friends! And working together with someone you love makes it better than ever.

Now I'm off to finish a dress for Bren, clean up my kitchen and dress Wyatt. I think I'll finish my coffee too. It's cooling off but that's okay. Today is here for me to live.

It's a girl!!

Announcing...

Sadie Willow Koehn
born to
Abram & Ashley Koehn
on
May 20, 2015
at
3:10am
weighing
7lbs 4oz
measuring
20"

Wyatt Thoughts

• No, eat porridge by myself, k? Not a chance!
• Mom, daddy says oops-daisy.
• Call, Grandma, now, k?
• Mom, who's that? (About every noise he hears. It's a busy life.)
• Fishy-copter (every helicopter he sees)
• Goodness sakes! (about cousin Ralph's braided hair)
• Mom, daddy says Pete's sake, k?
• Do it self!
• Mommy, I'm tired too. (when he needs a nap)
• Fishy-beak (Pat's RC helicopter front)
• Wade, Rennie, cowboys...
• Missy (Misty) nice, Wade nice, Quinton nice...
• Candy crush, self!!
• My ear hurts terrible much!
• (Praying for dinner) Thank you for... daddy...(I whisper good) mommy... (I whisper good) Colby... (I whisper good) Zach... (I whisper good) (long pause) (I whisper Wyatt?) Good (says Wyatt) Amen
• (Wyatt was sitting in the laundry basket after his shower, naked with his blanket around him. He all sudden jumps out) Forever more!! Pee here!!
• Hokey Dinah sakes!!
• Whoo-hoo canoe!
• Thank you much!
• Sucker! Dummy! (about people he doesn't like)
• You stop it right now, k? (to Colby and Zach)
• Be nice, boys!!
• Beep! Beep! (when he wants someone to move)
• (every time we turn the corner at Co-op in Delisle) GRANDPA's place!!!
• Can we? Can we? Can we?
• (Every time we turn in at Wendel's) Josh place!
• Josh, our place? Should we? Should we? Should we?
• (puts his hands around my face when I put him to sleep) Friends!
• No stinks, just puff.
• cane (for train. and we hear a LOT about canes. He can say truck and track but train, no way.) 

Very Important Information (ha)

1. My phone has died an untimely death. If I don't reply to texts, etc. there's a reason. :(

2. My beloved new-ish sewing machine has died a very untimely death. It's in at the the sewing machine surgeon and I have no idea how long it'll be under anaesthetics or how costly this adventure will prove to be. I'm trying not to think about it.

3. My oldy-goldy stand-by sewing machine has died a rather unfortunate and untimely death. The one I can take to sew at other places, you know? She is also at the sewing machine doctor....

4. My sewing room drawings? They absolutely will not upload here onto the ol' blog. I will write about the room sometime. But no one know when...

5. My sis and I have spent the last two days together. We cut ten dresses, partially sewed three and went grocery shopping together too.

6. We had an awesome time in Crooked Creek last weekend. Thanks to all my dear family! We sewed and packed and ate and talked. And it was way way too short. I didn't get to see nearly everyone I wanted to. And I brought home seven pieces of fabric. Gulp.

7. I have two finished baby quilts in my sewing room; one for Ash and one for Arnie. (Ash's baby is any day now and I'm hoping to make a big announcement here when the time comes!) One is my button quilt and one is stripes with an appliqued T on it and trucks and cars on the back. The latter one screams Arnie, in my humble opinion. :)

K, later...

Just Some Blither

I've quit the word of the week, aka {WW}. I'm hoping to do it again in September but my life now is sorta crazy. But isn't it always? And don't we all just choose to do what is most important? And we all have to have a little hobby or pleasurable thing to do amidst the chaos so I'm not going to feel guilty that I like to write.

But you know the people that like to write and read? Well, they don't generally have clean houses... And it sorta scares me. I mean, I like a clean house and I'm almost obsessive about a tidy house. I'd like to hire someone to clean. Whew, it's all about honesty here.

So, just random information here.

Last Saturday Zach just boom got a sore neck, couldn't turn his head or look up and just felt plum miserable. He told me a couple times that he felt just like he did at Christmas. We were in town and (of course when we got home) he asked me to feel his neck and sure enough he had a big lymph node same place as last time.

After talking with Aunty Cheri and Zach telling us how important it was for him to be at convert meeting the next morning we decided that we'd wait to go in to emergency until after church. Long story short; he saw the same doctor he had at Christmas (which proves to be a huge blessing). She said she thought this was Reactive Lymph Nodes and could be from the Cervical Adenitus earlier and we'll wait it out. If he gets worse, in we go lickety split and if not he's good to go. His lymph nodes are still puffy but he's not worse. Praise the Lord!

Bren told me at church that I was so worried partly because of dads huge lymph nodes in his neck before he died and she is absolutely right! I hadn't connected it but this freaks me so bad. Plus, I have too big an imagination....

Anyway.

This morning the plumbers came and hooked up my sink in my laundry room! There's just a little change on the roof line that needs to be done yet and we are done. Done. DONE. I want to yell!!! We are so so so so thankful.

I kinda like me house. :):)

And Wyatt climbed the bookshelf in the living room today and broke it. At least he's not harmed but that dear child! Sometimes I laugh and sometimes I cry! I have a big ol' list of stuff he's saying and I'm thinking of posting it but you all have to promise not to judge because I do not know where he gets everything from! Honestly!

And we're planning on going to Crooked Creek for the weekend. What with Mother's Day and Jerry's pulling outta there soon we decided it was a good time. I'm hoping to help Karen with her sewing and the men will help Jer in his shop. I talked to Di and mom this morning and we planned some food stuff. I'm so excited to see Crooked at this time of year. So often we go at Christmas and I've been craving a summer visit. Or spring, whatever.

Which reminds me, we've had a gorgeous spring here. It's been unnaturally warm, plus twenty-four today and I've been dreaming garden and flowers and trees. I let myself buy a couple trees every spring and so... I went to Costco and did the deed. I'm the proud owner of a September Ruby Apple, a Harcourt Apple, a Sem Ash Leaf False Spirea and then of course some others; Morden Fireglow Rose, Pink Thrift and Dianthus Border Pinks. Oh and another hosta for my shade bed behind the house.

The boys tilled the garden for me and scooped poop (crazy dog). They love to mow and trim and such so yard work is a good place to spend energy. Energy??? The more boys I have the more energy they have. I think I'll be young forever looking after them. Or maybe it's because I'm not so young that it feels like that. Hmm.

K, talk again soon.

P.S. Do you want to see the drawings for my sewing room? It'd give you an idea what it looks like. :)

{WW} phobia

I’ve never been very fond of planes.

I remember when I took my first flight. I was thirteen and needed a ride home from Creston after helping Karen when she had Ashley Jayne. Karen brought me to the little tiny airport in Cranbrook, B.C. and kissed me before I climbed into the little turbo prop plane that took me over the mountain ranges to Grande Prairie, A.B. It was a tremendously bumpy ride and I was all nerves.

When I was seventeen I flew down to Oklahoma to drive back with Pam when she was done teaching school there. It was my first time navigating a huge strange airport (Minneapolis) by myself. I also sat by a very fat man that tried to make conversation with me and I was freaked out.

But probably the biggest thing that has fuelled my dislike and aversion for planes was Gord and Adrian’s death in 2000. They built and owned a little two-seater plane, each working on getting their pilot’s licence. April 24^th their plane went down in a little patch of trees and marsh marigolds near Delmar and Brenda’s farm.

I’ve never been the same.

Our honeymoon was two and a half months later; a mixture of tears and laughter, sorrow and happiness. I surprised my dear new husband and myself by cowering on his lap, in tears, when a little plane flew close overhead. I talked lots about my fear of planes, only to find out that this dear man by my side was very interested in planes.

We were only married a few months when as we stood together in our front yard we witnessed a little plane from the airport school in Saskatoon practice his spiral and recovery. I lost it. Completely. I bawled and bawled.

I’ve tried real hard to work with myself. With a husband who likes to travel, I really have no options except to buck up and go with. Often, I’ve been comforted that at least our family is together if the plane goes down. Our trip to China was really, really hard for me. There was no way I was going to leave Wyatt at home even though it did really seem like he would be better at home. I fought it. In the end we decided to leave him and we updated our will, making it official at the lawyer. Every flight and many times during our trip, I wondered if this was my last day. I imagined Rennie's with Wyatt. I hoped they would buy our house.

I don’t know if I have a phobia of planes or death or what. Maybe it is grief and dealing with the happenings of my life. I do know that I feel much better than I used to. Flying is much easier than it used to be. And hopefully this journey can make me more understanding of someone else.

Things that bring me joy...

We all have this longing for beauty, for acceptance, for joy, for all the good things we perceive and understand God to be. And we all fall short. In my constant need for God I battle with thoughts of self-worth and discontent. I forget so easily the beauty He has given me and the blessings He bestows so graciously on me every day. I forget to be thankful.

The other day I was reading in my bible and the verse popped out at me with such clarity; And be ye thankful! It’s a command. It’s God’s admonition to me for this daily battle of tired mommy-brain, a houseful of men and the constant demands of busing school children/youth leader agendas/meal making/housecleaning, etc. Be ye thankful!

So today, I write another list… a thankful list.

1. 1.       My happy home.
2. 2.       A wonderful husband.
3. 3.       Three healthy children.
4. 4.       A Christian home.
5. 5.       My lovely house.
6. 6.       Warm weather.
7. 7.       Spring winds.
8. 8.       Budding trees.
9. 9.       Birds singing.
10. 10.   Swan pairs on the little lakes.
11. 11.   Pat’s parents.
12. 12.   Chai tea.
13. 13.   Fruit pizza.
14. 14.   Bren.
15. 15.   Coffee company.
16. 16.   Good friends and good gabbing.
17. 17.   Jodi.
18. 18.   Texas caviar and chips.
19. 19.   My big new pantry, in coral. :)
20. 20.   Rocking Wyatt.
21. 21.   Singing with Wyatt.
22. 22.   The boys all jumping on the tramp together.
23. 23.   Rhubarb growing.
24. 24.   Frogs croaking.
25. 25.   Planning a homemade ice-cream party for the youth.
26. 26.   Folding laundry on my big cutting table in my laundry room.
27. 27.   Marble-look counter tops.
28. 28.   Quilts.
29. 29.   Googling Caramel Praline Sauce and finding a good recipe.
30. 30.   Misty and the look on her face when I brought her a set of tiny little owl erasers.
31. 31.   Fresh bread.
32. 32.   Candles.
33. 33.   Green grass.
34. 34.   Boys that smell like woodsy shower gel and deodorant.
35. 35.   Ice water in a big clear glass.
36. 36.   Fresh strawberry jam.
37. 37.   Baseballs and bats, guns and ammunition, fishing rods and tackle.
38. 38.   Lockers.
39. 39.   Little camouflage rubber boots.
40. 40.   Boys, little and big, playing in the dirt in the garden.
41. 41.   Vanilla Biscotti Coffee, compliments of the Keurig.
42. 42.   Dark floors that hide a multitude of sins dirt.
43. 43.   Wade and Wyatt, playing together.
44. 44.   Seeds for the garden.
45. 45.   The safety of the church.
46. 46.   Books from the library.
47. 47.   My treadmill.
48. 48.   Pert Plus Shampoo.
49. 49.   Shirts to iron and jeans to patch.
50. 50.   Water for cleaning and washing and showering.
51. 51.   Hot water.
52. 52.   Zach setting the table, totally of his own accord.
53. 53.   Colby laughing almost ‘til he cries over Wyatt’s wise words.
54. 54.   Pat holding Wyatt during church.
55. 55.   Raspberry sauce (and cleaning all the raspberries outta my freezer.)
56. 56.   Crystal Kearnan staying for lunch.
57. 57.   Talking to my mom on the phone while I walk.
58. 58.   Blue summer sky with white fluffy clouds.
59. 59.   My string-of-pearls houseplant.
60. 60.   Tractors and seeders gearing up for planting.
61. 61.   Hope.
62. 62.   Joy in the journey

Chicken Penne Alfredo

Here's an awesome good recipe, sorta a Swanson hit, and rather fattening. :)

3 cups penne noodles
10 tbsp butter
1/4 cup flour
1/2 cup chopped onion
1 tsp Italian seasoning
1/2 tsp pepper
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp salt
4 cups chicken broth
2 cups cream
1/3 cup cornstarch
Parmesan cheese
3 lbs (4 large) grilled chicken breasts
1 pkg (12-16 oz) bacon
Mozza Cheese

Cook penne noodles. Drain and set aside. Melt butter. Add flour, onion and seasonings. Saute. Mix broth, cream and cornstarch and stir into onions, stirring until thickened. Add penne and stir a few minutes. Heat through. Layer into a 9 x 13 pan: penne mixture, Parmesan cheese, chicken, Mozza cheese and bacon. Bake at 400 for 15-20 min or until hot and bubbly.

Serve with Caesar salad and garlic cheese bread. Enjoy!

My notes: This does not fit in a regular 9 x 13 pan! And I use Hormel bacon bits.