Friday Thoughts

It's another beautiful spring day in central Saskatchewan, where the wind blows strong, the birds start singing at four in the morning when the sun comes up and the tractors and seeders are on the fields almost around the clock. It's a gorgeous time of year. The apples, chokecherries and lilacs are blooming, casting their pungent perfumes to the winds. The rhubarb plants are hearty mounds of huge leaves with hidden fruit and the gardens have little onion tips peeking through the sandy soil.

I have a small metal tub with rope-covered handles sitting on my deck. It has a dark pink tea rose in full bloom, small white flowers around the bottom and a solar light that glows softly in the gathering dusk. It's from my heart sister, bless her. It has brought me such joy already.

This morning Pat and I sat with cups of strong brewed coffee and mouths full of cracked black pepper and olive oil Triscuits, cheese and baby dills, watching the sun play across the finished entrance, enjoying the beauty of a lovely spring morning. Just to pause in the rush-rush the season brings is gratifying, blessed. We have so much to be grateful for!

I have moments of panic over balls thrown in the house, overwhelmed feelings about busing on time and food for public occasions and no answers about finishing homework, talking back and getting up on time. As a mom, I'm pulled taut, I'm fulfilled, I'm complete. The only saving grace in my life is God's and possibly never so clear cut. It's amazing.

I had a moment of clarity on Tuesday. Pat's mom and I went to the Berry Barn for lunch, just the two of us, for Mother's Day. We were sitting there at a little table overlooking the river, eating our mushroom soup in bread bowls and drinking coffee. The breezes lifted the heat every once in a while and the voices and clinks of dishes around us made it feel surreal. In the blink of an eye it's going to be me and my daughter-in-law.

The passing of time always brings a bitter-sweet feeling. I stand with heart and hands out in the breeze, like Abbie in A Lantern In Her Hand, thinking Oh, stop time! Stop! And I know that today is the only day to live.Today is my gift. Today is the best thing that has ever happened because it brings us one step closer to Him. I feel everything so deeply, unfortunately the bad as well as good, and I cry for little babies grown up, for children missing their Grandpa's presence, for the pain the world around. (I cry about silly things like white hair and mice in the house too.)

Yesterday my mom-in-law came and helped me wash all my windows on main floor, no small feat whatsoever! She's amazing! She can run circles around me! I told her I'd sew for her in exchange, in hopes of paying back, at least in part, this debt. Clean windows and clean floors? Nothing beats it, my friends! And working together with someone you love makes it better than ever.

Now I'm off to finish a dress for Bren, clean up my kitchen and dress Wyatt. I think I'll finish my coffee too. It's cooling off but that's okay. Today is here for me to live.

Things that bring me joy...

We all have this longing for beauty, for acceptance, for joy, for all the good things we perceive and understand God to be. And we all fall short. In my constant need for God I battle with thoughts of self-worth and discontent. I forget so easily the beauty He has given me and the blessings He bestows so graciously on me every day. I forget to be thankful.

The other day I was reading in my bible and the verse popped out at me with such clarity; And be ye thankful! It’s a command. It’s God’s admonition to me for this daily battle of tired mommy-brain, a houseful of men and the constant demands of busing school children/youth leader agendas/meal making/housecleaning, etc. Be ye thankful!

So today, I write another list… a thankful list.

1. 1.       My happy home.
2. 2.       A wonderful husband.
3. 3.       Three healthy children.
4. 4.       A Christian home.
5. 5.       My lovely house.
6. 6.       Warm weather.
7. 7.       Spring winds.
8. 8.       Budding trees.
9. 9.       Birds singing.
10. 10.   Swan pairs on the little lakes.
11. 11.   Pat’s parents.
12. 12.   Chai tea.
13. 13.   Fruit pizza.
14. 14.   Bren.
15. 15.   Coffee company.
16. 16.   Good friends and good gabbing.
17. 17.   Jodi.
18. 18.   Texas caviar and chips.
19. 19.   My big new pantry, in coral. :)
20. 20.   Rocking Wyatt.
21. 21.   Singing with Wyatt.
22. 22.   The boys all jumping on the tramp together.
23. 23.   Rhubarb growing.
24. 24.   Frogs croaking.
25. 25.   Planning a homemade ice-cream party for the youth.
26. 26.   Folding laundry on my big cutting table in my laundry room.
27. 27.   Marble-look counter tops.
28. 28.   Quilts.
29. 29.   Googling Caramel Praline Sauce and finding a good recipe.
30. 30.   Misty and the look on her face when I brought her a set of tiny little owl erasers.
31. 31.   Fresh bread.
32. 32.   Candles.
33. 33.   Green grass.
34. 34.   Boys that smell like woodsy shower gel and deodorant.
35. 35.   Ice water in a big clear glass.
36. 36.   Fresh strawberry jam.
37. 37.   Baseballs and bats, guns and ammunition, fishing rods and tackle.
38. 38.   Lockers.
39. 39.   Little camouflage rubber boots.
40. 40.   Boys, little and big, playing in the dirt in the garden.
41. 41.   Vanilla Biscotti Coffee, compliments of the Keurig.
42. 42.   Dark floors that hide a multitude of sins dirt.
43. 43.   Wade and Wyatt, playing together.
44. 44.   Seeds for the garden.
45. 45.   The safety of the church.
46. 46.   Books from the library.
47. 47.   My treadmill.
48. 48.   Pert Plus Shampoo.
49. 49.   Shirts to iron and jeans to patch.
50. 50.   Water for cleaning and washing and showering.
51. 51.   Hot water.
52. 52.   Zach setting the table, totally of his own accord.
53. 53.   Colby laughing almost ‘til he cries over Wyatt’s wise words.
54. 54.   Pat holding Wyatt during church.
55. 55.   Raspberry sauce (and cleaning all the raspberries outta my freezer.)
56. 56.   Crystal Kearnan staying for lunch.
57. 57.   Talking to my mom on the phone while I walk.
58. 58.   Blue summer sky with white fluffy clouds.
59. 59.   My string-of-pearls houseplant.
60. 60.   Tractors and seeders gearing up for planting.
61. 61.   Hope.
62. 62.   Joy in the journey

Things that bring me joy...

• another shopping day with my sis
• a Sunday dinner invite
• congregational Easter program - so so inspiring
• frogs croaking
• sitting out by McDonald creek watching the glassy water flowing and a rich vibrant sunset and hearing the red-winged blackbird's throaty song 
• fun pattern suggestions from cousin Geri :)
• cleaning up the basement and storage room and putting ALL the books back in the big Ikea bookshelf 
• setting up the Papasan chair again (with the boys bright pillows inside) right beside the bookcase
• jars of brightly coloured pencil crayons and markers on the window sill in the basement and the sun reflecting colour all over the room
• folks bringing us supper one night and babysitting while we went to youth meeting!
• silence

Things that bring me joy...

• Bright teal doors in my entrance. :)
• Door handles on the bedroom doors. Ya'll, don't take it for granted!! ;)
• Another heart sister gifty - a beautiful little devotional book and Caramilk Easter eggs in a cute box. :)
• Heather stopping for coffee yesterday after busing; showing her my house and a good visit.
• Bringing a bunch of clothes for Russia to sewing. 
• Borrowing a bunch of books at the library again.
• Seeing Wyatt with the chicks at Rennies.
• Hanging stuff on the walls again.
• LOCKERS!!! I'm yelling but it's so exciting I can't help it!!
• No men (other than mine) in my house today!! :) lol