Life & Feelings

And then one morning she woke up and thought why not? Why not write again? Why not quickly chop half the group off and write again with freedom? This doesn't mean that I don't want people here. It means I'm sometimes afraid of the silence. In times past, I've merrily written things from my viewpoint only to have them passed on and I feel so vulnerable.


But I've taken a nice long break. And it hasn't only been that. My life has gone from full throttle to overdrive. I am in no way needing something to do with my time like I used to. (I know. I admitted that.) My older boys have so much going and happening and it's just different writing about them. I just have to respect them in a different way than a four year old. So maybe now I could write a little bit about some of the things.


Like, Colby graduated this year! Like, seriously, the whole thing took me by surprise. Forever and ever we've been doing homework and trying to get him to sing and just like that he was standing with his grade, singing The Open Road (nervously, no doubt). But he did it. I'll always have this picture of him in his black shirt with the red bits of trim, his dark jeans and canvas high tops. We couldn't see the emoji socks that the boys all wore, matching, but they smiled because of them. He will always be my quietest boy, with a shy smile that you know hides a lot on his beautiful face. (I'm the mom, forgive me.) He has so much love for wildlife and little children and people that are left out. He's loyal beyond his years. He's grown in leaps and bounds this last year, in the area of spiritual understanding and the depth makes me cry.


There are so many things I want to write down and remember but my 'moment' is swiftly coming to a close. Bren and I are doing a 40th birthday party for our men at Pike Lake this evening, about a hundred people. (And we used perfectpotluck.com to plan it.) Chris Boese has been painting for me and will be here in a couple minutes. Yesterday she painted Zach's room, a medium grey and then on one wall she's going to do a wide stripe at an angle in lime green and a narrower stripe in charcoal a little ways away. I have Wyatt's room and our main bathroom on the list yet too. So hopefully I can write an update on it all soon.


Thanks to my faithful family and friends for bearing with me.


Talk again soon.