Friday Thoughts

It's another beautiful spring day in central Saskatchewan, where the wind blows strong, the birds start singing at four in the morning when the sun comes up and the tractors and seeders are on the fields almost around the clock. It's a gorgeous time of year. The apples, chokecherries and lilacs are blooming, casting their pungent perfumes to the winds. The rhubarb plants are hearty mounds of huge leaves with hidden fruit and the gardens have little onion tips peeking through the sandy soil.

I have a small metal tub with rope-covered handles sitting on my deck. It has a dark pink tea rose in full bloom, small white flowers around the bottom and a solar light that glows softly in the gathering dusk. It's from my heart sister, bless her. It has brought me such joy already.

This morning Pat and I sat with cups of strong brewed coffee and mouths full of cracked black pepper and olive oil Triscuits, cheese and baby dills, watching the sun play across the finished entrance, enjoying the beauty of a lovely spring morning. Just to pause in the rush-rush the season brings is gratifying, blessed. We have so much to be grateful for!

I have moments of panic over balls thrown in the house, overwhelmed feelings about busing on time and food for public occasions and no answers about finishing homework, talking back and getting up on time. As a mom, I'm pulled taut, I'm fulfilled, I'm complete. The only saving grace in my life is God's and possibly never so clear cut. It's amazing.

I had a moment of clarity on Tuesday. Pat's mom and I went to the Berry Barn for lunch, just the two of us, for Mother's Day. We were sitting there at a little table overlooking the river, eating our mushroom soup in bread bowls and drinking coffee. The breezes lifted the heat every once in a while and the voices and clinks of dishes around us made it feel surreal. In the blink of an eye it's going to be me and my daughter-in-law.

The passing of time always brings a bitter-sweet feeling. I stand with heart and hands out in the breeze, like Abbie in A Lantern In Her Hand, thinking Oh, stop time! Stop! And I know that today is the only day to live.Today is my gift. Today is the best thing that has ever happened because it brings us one step closer to Him. I feel everything so deeply, unfortunately the bad as well as good, and I cry for little babies grown up, for children missing their Grandpa's presence, for the pain the world around. (I cry about silly things like white hair and mice in the house too.)

Yesterday my mom-in-law came and helped me wash all my windows on main floor, no small feat whatsoever! She's amazing! She can run circles around me! I told her I'd sew for her in exchange, in hopes of paying back, at least in part, this debt. Clean windows and clean floors? Nothing beats it, my friends! And working together with someone you love makes it better than ever.

Now I'm off to finish a dress for Bren, clean up my kitchen and dress Wyatt. I think I'll finish my coffee too. It's cooling off but that's okay. Today is here for me to live.